Avery and Me

Avery and Me

Thursday, October 21, 2010


We left the hospital Sunday October 3 and went home for the first night.  On Monday we had to come back to UAMS for a bilirubin check.  Steve and I got up, took our time getting ready and got Avery all decked out.  We planned on heading to lunch, then stopping by Steve's work to show her off.  That all changed after they drew her blood. 

The resident came out and said her bilirubin level was too high and she had to be admitted to the NICU.  I was in shock.  We just walked in and let them take over.  Avery got her first pacifier, stripped down, goggles on, and into the tanning lights she went.  It was awful not being able to hold her.  The next blow was the realization that we had to stay overnight.  Steve went home to get some supplies for me so I could stay with her and continue breastfeeding. 

The Lord was truly looking out for us.  One of my friends from the ER's mom was the charge nurse and came by to make sure I was ok.  She moved us to a larger room that had a bathroom since I was staying and dealing with all the postpartum mommy "stuff."  It was so nice of her to give us more privacy, a TV, a bathroom (with a shower!) and she just kept taking care of us.  She picked my nurses and came by every day to check on us.  I am so thankful for her kindness.  My mom was a huge help too.  She brought us food and sat with me while Steve was home sleeping.  His family came by one night and brought food and company too.  I was so upset the whole time we were there.  I still don't like to think about our time there.  When the lady from the march of dimes came in I just kept thinking...."I have a healthy term baby, why is she in the NICU...I shouldn't be upset, the baby next door was born too early and is fed through a tube and isn't even 5 lbs yet after almost 3 months..."  I didn't want visitors, I just wanted to hold Avery and to maybe get a few hours of sleep.  In between feeding her every three hours and pumping milk, I wasn't sleeping at all.  I got pretty sleep deprived and very upset.  We had a blow come when they said her bili was better but she had lost too much weight and wasn't peeing enough.  They were blaming it on my breastfeeding.  I felt like such a failure.  I told everyone....give her formula, give her my breastmilk and measure it...whatever it takes, just let me take her home!

They started pre and post feeding weights, and I had to keep her awake and eating, it was awful.  She would eat for an hour and then I would have to keep her awake to take a bottle. 

Overall, it was ok.  I hated it, I won't lie.  We did learn alot about breastfeeding, keeping her healthy, pumping, and started her on a schedule.  I guess that's why God put us there, and the sweet family we met while we were there. 



  1. Im so sorry Jen, that sounds horrible! Im so happy that everything worked out though and she is healthy and home with you!

  2. There is no doubt that, for whatever reason you are there, the NICU experience is scary. I'm so glad everything is OK now and that you are all safely home.