Hello Lovely Readers!
Today was my BIG follow up appointment with my OB/GYN. I had my ultrasound early this morning to evaluate my cyst and an appointment with him 2 hours later.
So while I had the ultrasound Steve sat in the room and watched the screen, and he didn't see a cyst. We had breakfast and I was mentally celebrating.
We arrived at the doctors office and waited for a while for him. As soon as he walked in he said my cyst was the same. I was crushed. He gave us our options and our choices. Option #1, ignore the cyst, go home, and try to concieve. Option #2, ignore the cyst, go home, and continue taking Metformin and take Clomid to try to concieve. Option #3, go to a reproductive endocrinologist and do what they say.
I just sat there crying. I was so sure God would heal my cyst and it would finally be time to try to have a baby. I didn't think 2 of our options included fertility drugs, not yet, not now. The realization that my body just doesn't work like it should hit me and overwhelmed me. Steve was such a rock. He had a great conversation with our doctor and asked all the questions I should have been asking. Our doctor asked for our thoughts and questions and I pulled myself together to ask a couple questions. Steve and I have been praying about starting our family and he feels God is telling us to try. Only He knows when we will be blessed with a baby.
Steve and I talked quickly and decided to go forward with option 2... Risks include the cyst growing, needing surgery to take it out, and a 10% chance that we'll have twins. Like our doctor said, twins are fun on TV but a medical nightmare. I have two friends who were affected by TTS and one lost her twins and one had emergency surgery and had hers a little early. The Lord must have been looking out for us because today is the perfect day for me to start taking Clomid, it's Day 5 of my cycle.
Please be praying! I accept the Lords will for our lives and his plan. I'm finally not angry any more. I've accepted that I am overweight and have health risks and will need help to get pregnant. For some reason, God made me this way. I have faith that He will give me the desires of my heart (of our hearts) and plans only good, not evil for our family.
Love,
Jen
PRAYING!
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